people don't dance no more

better late than never, right? you probably know what all the sogns are, im sorry it took me so long!

Talk to the regulars down your local, and they would most likely have you believe that people do indeed not dance no more. This opinion is largely influenced by at least three factors. Namely:

(a) Their low standard of education, hence their poor grasp of English grammar and near-continuous state of inebriation;

(b) Their intoxicated state, which makes them more susceptible to believing such patently ridiculous theories; and

(c) The likelihood that they read tabloid newspapers, and blame such an unlikely state of affairs on knife crime, immigration and Islamic extremists (because, as we all know, Muslims don't know how to have fun).

What I suspect they are trying to inform you, however, is that people don't possess the skills to dance properly any more. Which is a shame, because this compilation offers no remedy to educate the listener in this respect.

1. Thicke - Shooter (a justin timberlake its ok to like. although its also ok to like the actual justin timberlake cause i like him and im still the coolest person you'll ever meet. i watched a 2h long justin concert the other day. he's the sex. thicke to the contrary SO isnt. he sounds sexy though)

It seems to start with someone pressing the "Demo" button on an electronic keyboard. But not a rubbish Casio effort, more like a semi-professional Yamaha job. Sung by a man who was probably frequently scolded at school for shouting out answers (My hands up/My hands up/They want me with my hands up), this song is how I imagine James Blunt thinks he sounds.

2. The Rapture - WAYUH (Whoo! Alright - Yeah... Uh Huh) (you need to love this song more, phil. it's my second favourite dancing song and it's where the title of the mix comes from, as somebody's already told you).

3. Goldfrapp - Twist

I'm not sure why, but I have very little to say about Track 2. I like the beat, I think it's a great sound, but that's all I can put down in words. Strange, that. It's then followed by Twist by the ever lovely Alison Goldfrapp, which is the first of three songs already in my collection. Here's a picture of her, just because I can:

4. Beastie Boys - The Test (gotta love 'em beastie boys... *SIIIIIIGH*)

The fourth song on the compilation sounds exactly like the Beastie Boys, and I imagine probably is. It features the lyrics, "212, this is just a test", and I imagine it's the follow up to their lesser-known flop, 404, Page Not Found.


5. Mouse On Mars - Wipe That Sound (it's very comforting that english people do get the lyrics wrong sometimes too. on the other hand the guy is german and the song is very glitch-y.)

6. IAMX - Spit It Out (i know its a bit cheesy, but very danceable, innit)

While track 5 encourages me to "wipe that frown", it can't help but return for track 6, which has a very specific delusions-of-grandeur "rock" style that the snobbier regions of my brain don't want to let me like, because they decided at some point in the last 5 years that it's just not cool. The frown comes from the fact that I do actually quite like this track. The confusion is overwhelming.

7. Hot Chip - (Just Like We) Breakdown

I calm down, then, followed as it is by (Just Like We) Breakdown by Hot Chip, the second of the three tracks already in my collection.


8. Patrick Wolf - Accident & Emergency (good guess, title-wise. its also totally endearing that you cannot count. 80's voice? seriously? or did you mean: second most sexy voice ever?)

Track 9 features what I like to call the generic "80s voice". Probably called Accident & Emergency, it seems to be some sort of celebration of people hurting themselves. Sadistic bastards.

9. Spiritualized - Lay Back In The Sun (it IS spiritualized. because j. spaceman is the new jesus and ever mix needs a spiritualized song)

10. TV On The Radio - New Health Rock (my favourite song for dancing. no, not outkast :P )
The next track might, and might not be, Spiritualized. It sounds quite a lot like them, but I'm going with it not being them. I'm positive though that number 11 is Outkast, with the lyrics, "If you don't know now/Then you might not never". Which is about as non-committal and ambiguous as lyrics can get.

11. The Black Keys - Act Nice & Gentle (kinks cover) (i do like the gomez comparison and youre probably right about them being better at it, but theres just something about this song that makes it impossible for me not to listen to it at least 10 times everytime i put it on)

Track 11 is quite heavily Country-influenced (Not Big Country-influenced), but does just make me want to listen to Gomez, who frequently achieve a superior version of this style. I'm banking on this not being Gomez.


12. The Raveonettes - Love In A Trashcan (country? come ON. its more 60s pop meets shoegaze than anything else, especially country :P i do love you anyway.)

Again the next track is all a bit Country, and I'm sure I recognise the band, but I can't think who it is. Which really annoys me. It seems to be about "love in a trash can", which I can't help but think would be really uncomfortable. But then, I'd probably take that over my current lack of action.

13. The Clash - Rudie Can't Fail (my fav clash song and the closest it ever gets to jamaican music for me - im allergic to reggae and ska, but joe strummer could make virtually anything sound supercool)

14. Jens Lekman - Black Cab (he's swedish. he's hot. he's got a picture in kngiht's armor. it's all you need to know before putting him on your celebrity shag list, girls!)

I think Track 13 is The Clash, but it's not one I know. It's then followed once again by a yet-more-Country-sounding crooner, after a brief 60s hippy lead-in. The strange thing is that he says that he "killed the party again", and then sings about the "Black Cab" (presumably the title of the song). Which is not so strange except that the whole thing sounds very American. And he's singing about taking a black cab. Which is British. Hmmm...

15. PJ Harvey - This Is Love

Track 15 is the third and final track I already own, PJ Harvey's This Is Love. Listening to it for the first time in ages made me realise that it has the polar opposite opinion on sexual urges to Because it's not love (but it's still a feeling) by The Pipettes. Could be worth mentioning and encourage debate about on Question Time or something.


16. Spoon - Stay Don't Go (love the mm-uh mm-mm-uh bit/beat)
I can only presume, due to his erratic and heavy breathing, that the singer on track 16 left his inhaler at home on the day of recording. In spite of this, he still manages to put out an accomplished composition, testament to his stoic nature. While he asserts that "truth is the best way out", however, I'd suggest he tries telling this to John Coffey from The Green Mile.

17. The Afghan Whigs - 66 (awwwwww but it's greg dulli! seems like most people need to see him live in action before the appreciate his greatness. and admit he's the god of sex.)

Track 17 is probably the only track which I'm really not bothered about. And I take issue with his claim that "You walked in just like smoke". As if smoke could walk.

18. MGMT - Electric Feel (from the 3rd best album of the year so far and definitely the best one in the dance-y department)

19. Telepopmusik - Love Can Damage Your Health (from a very good album everyone seems to have forgotten about)

I'm shamed to admit that although I know Track 18 very well, I can't remember what it's called or whom it's by. I'm not so keen though on it's instruction to "Ooh girl, shock me like an electric eel". No thanks. I'm not into that sort of thing. Then the whole thing is rounded off with the beautiful and haunting Track 19.

Job done.
Job done.

PS I do love this compilation. It's awesome.
PS i do love the review, too