Biophilia - the review

I was able to listen to my mix CD today and after three uninterrupted listening sessions, here are my thoughts, track by track:

No pictures though, sorry!

Track 1
It's raining. Stormy, even. Reminds me of being driven home from Loverpool. Just slower. And if we were all really depressed. And if I were stuck inside a Good Charlotte album.

Also, how do you wrap someone in cold? Cold is not a thing.

And what happened to the rain storm? That should at least be explained in soundbite form like 'the rain is stopping' or 'Oh look, sun birdies', or 'I didn't think this is Kansas anymore'.

Good opener. If you like that sort of thing. Which I don't. Sorry.


Track 2
Suddenly we’re in 1950s America in the Deep South. In what sounds like a speakeasy. Which is odd, as they were in big cities. And in the 20s. And had loads of kids singing in adult voices in them if Bugsy Malone is historically accurate.

Very good voice. I already know it’s Nancy Sinatra due to seeing the tracklist, but this is no bad thing. A quite amazing female vocalist. And quite a nice song. Makes me want to sit by a lake and cuddle my cousin.


Track 3
We’re definitely in the 80s (which now I’ve said that will probably be the 70s…). The background synth gives it away. As does the male/female duo style. The setting is probably the TOTP studios with Dave Lee Travis and Tony Blackburn gyrating in the background, trying to score with the scantily clad, monotonous expressioned women in the audience.

I’m assuming this song is called Big Love. Only because it’s mentioned at least 17 times in the song. Please find some synonyms. Things can be substantially sized too. Unless they had a fixation. Or the guy was overcompensating.

Catchy, if you like 80s pop. Which I kind of do and kind of don’t. But more don't.

Track 4
Back into the US, but not sure where. Maybe somewhere on the outskirts of a city. In a park. Probably taking a shit load of drugs. Because that’s what middle class outer city Americans love to do.

It’s good to know that musicians have clasp of physics. The fact that you can’t fly without wings and that what goes up must come down. Isaac would be proud. If he wasn’t dead, being eaten by the worms that inhabited the apple that never hit him.

Semi psychedelic in the way skittles are.


Track 5
Ouch. This is hot. This abode is very toasty, one might say. Not if you’re Alice Cooper though. He WANTS his residence to be higher than room temperature. So much so that he’s going to build one. A house, rather than a bungalow (I don’t think the song would flow as well) of FIRE. Yes, that’s right, FIRE. And, to make matters more interesting, it’s not going to be built with regular flaming mortar and bricks, oh no, love is going to hold this house up. Obviously, Mr. Cooper didn’t have a background in architecture, as he should know he should at least have solid foundations of earth and wind to build upon first. Only then can he add the fire. Silly man.

I’m not sure why he and his ladyfriend have to pay rent on a house they’ve built himself.

Nice solid late 70s/early 80s (I’m about as good at Alice chronology as that rabbit with a watch was)

I assume it’s called House of Fire, Alice was never very good at original song titles


Track 6
Now, the first track I know the name of myself: The Ascent of Stan – Ben Folds.

It feels like it’s raining again. But more drizzle on a damp day. Stan looks down. Possibly because he’s a hippy. They always look depressed or stoned. Of which he’s probably the latter of when the banjo kicks in.

Doesn’t matter though, as he’s already begun his accent to become ‘the man’. I don’t know whether this means he’s part of police, city hall, or even President. In which case it probably IS quite fun to the man, you get a house all to yourself. I’d love that. Sure, you have to meet some people you can’t understand because President’s suddenly lose their ability to listen to things when they come to power, but hey, free food!

Great song. Good old Ben Folds. Prefer his band stuff, mind.


Track 7
Could this be Rotterdam? Or anywhere? Liverpool? Rome?

Apparently not. Not even the same band. Though they do question obesity and race in the first line. Powerful stuff. Well, not quite. They’re people who go to knocking shops. Yes, that’s right. Knocking shops. Not quite the diversity driven song I’d hoped for. Not a patch on Black or White by MJ. Probably less screaming and children (allegedly) though

And filling songs with Las? Deary deary me.

No idea who this is. Apart from the fact it sounds like The Beautiful South. But then there were lots of bands of this ilk, so could be any. Not a bad track.


Track 8
Back in the States, probably on the mean white streets of LA

If you ever wondered what crossing Foo Fighters with Good Charlotte would sound like, this is your answer. Not that you’ve been asking that question; that would be idiotic. It’d be like asking to be shown what would happen if you trapped your testicles in a vice and turned it.

Though I have to say, not too bad one you get used to it. And you ignore the whiny vocals. Good catchy tune, good guitar work. Seemed to get the best elements from Foos.

Buggered if I could name the song/artist though.


Track 9
Harmonicas! I love harmonicas in songs that aren’t sung by one man band types, anyway. This obviously means the North America. Creative vision for harmonicas is restricted to Stateside after Mr. Dylan made Blood on the Tracks.

This is of course a song about a Heart of Gold, by Neil Young.

How do you mine for hearts anyway? I’d imagine very carefully, mainly as it could get quite messy if the one you’re mining is still wanted by it’s owner. Tip to heart miners out there; go for the already dead. Saves you a lot of hassle in the long run.


Track 10
Belgrade, this is Helsinki calling? Have I stumbled into Eurovision? I can’t see Terry anywhere, though that’s really a help; he’s tiny and probably fell under the table into the foetal position, drunk at the sight of a rapping Croat.

I’m not sure what to make of this. It sounds like Evanescence if they had Lordi as backing. Both make my skin crawl. But this song is catchy. I feel much like Miss Imbrughlia. I want to dislike, but can’t. You can’t really hate Eurovision. It’s all just a laugh after all. It’d be like moaning about the World Cup; it sounds like sour grapes because we never win. But we all KNOW we’re not going to win. It’ll probably be this country. Or Russia. Or Serbia. Or Ukraine. Or Russia. Or Serbia…


Track 11
Now this is what it’s all about. I’m on the Titanic stuck in 3rd class accommodation while they’re having a knees up, but all the people with me are from Muppet's Treasure Island.

That’s all you really need to know. This is BRILLIANT. Go go gadget guitar solo!

If I were really geeky, I’d say that the tune was sort of like a jazzed up version of the battle music from Final Fantasy. But of course, I’m not that geeky. Honest…

This is probably where Latvia got their idea for this year’s Eurovision entry from…


Track 12
No, not Lenny Kravitz?! I thought. Luckily I was wrong. For a start, he wouldn’t be able to sound like a man when he sings. Not sure where we are, but I bet the video is is set with people flying through space. Sort of like the opening titles of Garth Marenghi's Darkplace. It’s not, is it? That’s a shame. Because that’s be cool! Especially seeing Knives and forks flying in front of a quiet room.

What IS a quiet room? And why is it all white. He hasn’t gone mental, has he? Oh wait, he probably has, he wants to cut himself. Suddenly the song makes sense. Hoorah for institutionalisation!

Hang on, it’s not Alice Cooper again, is it? That strain is strangely familiar.

Strangely depressing. Well, not strangely, it’s about being depressed for a start. I just meant for Alice Cooper (I am now convinced it was him) It was also strangely good for him. But then anything is compared to School’s Out. Guitar Hero has ruined that song for me.


Track 13
Ah, another one I know smack on the nose. Death Cab For Cutie – I Will Follow You Into The Dark.

To me, this is set in a park on a summer’s night. Not a scary one like in Silent Hill, but the same twee place that We’re Going To Be Friends is set. Only this song is set in the ever so slightly depressing zone. That’d make a good Crystal Maze zone. Where the love of your life dies at the beginning of each 2-3 minute game in the form of a mystery, skill, physical or mental game and you have to decide whether to kill yourself too.

Ok, so the game would be quite easy (The answer: don’t). It’ll be dark. You won’t be able to see anything, let alone her. Unless you buy a lamp.

Great song.


Track 14
We’re on the way to battle. On a boat heading to a beach. Sort of like D-Day, but with less Tom Hanks (thankfully).

We’re with The Decemberists – Sons and Daughters. Another classic. To me anyway. Very good way to end the album.

Though I’ve always had one quibble about this song. And, surprisingly, it’s not about using the word ‘Aluminum’. My annoyance for that has somewhat decayed over the years. We know what they mean. We don’t berate them for calling rubbish ‘trash’ or ‘garbage’. I digress.

Right, I know aluminum and cinnamon is a great lyrical rhyme. But why would you want to fill your mouths with cinnamon. Not even in war time when it would (possibly) be scarce (depends if we’re fighting India or something). The only way I can see it being useful is if you’ve run out of insect repellent and all you have to hand is cinnamon. And your mouth is covered in jam. And marmalade.

Stupid line. A whole mouthful too? You’d choke. Or never want it again. Unless that’s the intention…


All in all a largely good mix. Well done mystery mixer! I have an inkling whoever made this wear glasses. And likes dinosaurs.